


Winsome, Lose Some

by blueroses96



Series: The Bones Wheels of Fate [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amanda Grayson's POV, BAMF Amanda Grayson, Bisexual Female Character, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Female Jewish Character, Teen Pregnancy, a lot of letters and video com transcripts mixed in with vignettes of varying length, indulgent references to seventies music and movies lmaooo, spock being an adorable child, winona grieving unhealthily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21620755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueroses96/pseuds/blueroses96
Summary: “We’ll just have to come back to Vulcan all the time on shore leave!” booms George, bursting through the curtain, holding Sammy in the air. Sammy makes bszzzzz-BRRRRRM noises like an engine, his chubby arms extended like airplane wings. Amanda begins to laugh, but Win is indignant. “George! We’re at a formal Vulcan wedding! Please!”“That’s why we came in here, hun.” He kisses her forehead and stage whispers, “Sam was gonna start screaming any minute, I had to distract him.”“It’s okay, George,” Amanda says. “If anyone has something to say, just direct them to me. You’re as much my family as any of them are.”
Relationships: Amanda Grayson & Winona Kirk, Amanda Grayson/Sarek, Frank (Star Trek)/Winona Kirk, George Kirk/Winona Kirk
Series: The Bones Wheels of Fate [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558246
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	Winsome, Lose Some

**Author's Note:**

> AU in which Amanda and Winona were best friends in high school. They went to high school in San Francisco, which is where Win met George as a freshman in Starfleet. George is still from Riverside originally.
> 
> This fic is a prologue to a series I've wanted to read for a while. Unfortunately I haven't found a series like this so I had to write it myself lol. Hope you enjoy.

**YEAR: 2227**

****

****

**TRANSPORT FROM: San Francisco  
TRANSPORT TO: Riverside**

“Just ignore them, Win,” Amanda whispers. “‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’”

“It’s not about my _feelings_ , Amanda,” Winona scoffs. “It’s about it being total bullshit. It’s none of their fucking business! And anyway, I’m GETTING MARRIED in TWO WEEKS, ASSHOLES!”

Scandalized, the old couple stops looking askance at Winona’s baby belly. The wife looks out the window innocently and the husband fixes his gaze firmly on the floor.

“Jesus,” says Winona. “I can’t wait for this to be fucking _over_.”

Amanda grins. “I doubt you’ll be saying that on your wedding night.”

“Shut UP!” is the reply, and Amanda laughs until Win smacks her with her travel pillow. Then it is War.

**YEAR: 2228**

****

****

**LOCATION: Win and George’s place, San Francisco**

“You can keep trying to read to him, but to be honest I think he takes after me and not George because good lord he hates to stay still--”

Amanda places the two books she brought - _Matilda_ and _The Little Prince_ \- on the kitchen table while Win flits around the apartment getting ready. She kisses the wriggling child in the high chair hello and calls out, “Well, he’s got me as an aunt, so he needs to appreciate _Matilda_ , at least--”

“Ha! Good luck with that.” Winona rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “Hey, really, thank you again for --”

“No no no. Go, Win! You’re almost late!” Amanda pushes her towards the door to avoid being thanked again.

Win turns around and smacks a defiant kiss on her forehead. “The professor knows I have a kid, she’ll be lenient.”

Amanda opens the door. “I’m more worried about what you’ll miss!” This is a lie. She worries about Win’s guilty conscious. Really, Amanda waiting a year to go to college was barely a sacrifice compared to all the ones Winona was forced to make. And it was only until George graduated. “Listen, I’ll text if I have any more questions about Sammy, alright?”

“Okay, okay. I trust you. _Be good for your aunt, baby!_ Okay, bye, I love you!”

“As you must!” Amanda yells after her, and she hears Win’s laughter echo down the hall. She gives Sam _The Little Prince_ so he could look at the pictures.

Amanda’s comm pings in her pocket. “Try a movie,” Win’s text reads. “He liked Gene Wilder in the movie of _The Little Prince_.” Suddenly she hears the sound of tearing paper.

Amanda looks over at George Kirk 2.0. He’s slowly ripping the title page of _The Little Prince_ down the center. She plucks the treasure from his hands with a patient shake of her head, and takes tape out of the kitchen’s junk drawer.

“How do we compromise between Matilda and Gene Wilder?” she asks as she tapes the book. She looks up at him and grins. “Willy Wonka it is.”

**YEAR: 2231**

****

****

**LOCATION: T’Pau’s estate, outskirts of Shi’Kar, Vulcan**

“You know, I thought for sure you’d end up marrying a woman.”

Amanda laughs as she wraps cloth around the wedding glass. “So if I’d gotten engaged to a Vulcan _woman_ after twelve dates, it somehow would be _less_ weird to you?”

“I mean...lesbians move fast…” Win shrieks as Amanda pretends to hit her with the glass. “AH! Sorry! You’re bi, I get it!”

Amanda sobers. “Win, do you think we paired off too early?”

“What? No.” Winona frowns at her. “We just met our people early, that’s all.” She gently takes the glass out of Amanda’s hands and looks at it sadly. “I’ll say this though, between the four of us and our careers and kids - well, step-kid in your case - we probably won’t be able to see each other as much now. That’s what _I’m_ worried about. I don’t want to lose you.”

“We’ll just have to come back to Vulcan all the time on shore leave!” booms George, bursting through the curtain, holding Sammy in the air. Sammy makes bszzzzz-BRRRRRM noises like an engine, his chubby arms extended like airplane wings.

Amanda begins to laugh, but Win is indignant. “George! We’re at a formal Vulcan wedding! Please!”

“That’s why we came in here, hun.” He kisses her forehead and stage whispers, “Sam was gonna start screaming any minute, I had to distract him.”

“It’s okay, George,” Amanda says. “If anyone has something to say, just direct them to me. You’re as much my family as any of them are.”

**YEAR: 2233**

****

****

**LOCATION: Win’s place, San Francisco**

When Amanda finally sees Win again, it’s at George’s funeral. She can’t think of anything to say. She supposes there’s not much you can say when your best friend’s husband dies at 27. She captures Win in a tight hug. Win doesn’t return it, but she leans in.

Amanda expects her to cry, like she did when she commed Amanda with the news, but her friend is silent. 

Baby James wails loud enough for them both.

**YEAR: 2236**

****

****

**VIDEO MESSAGE FROM: Amanda Grayson  
TO: Winona Kirk**

“...Hi, Win...it’s been a while. I hope you get this, I know deep-space signals can be tricky, so...I’ll just keep sending it till it goes through. Um...I’d really rather have told you this over a call, but...I’m actually pregnant! Finally, right? I’ve wanted a kid more or less since you had Jim, I really hoped we could raise them together, you know? Just like old times. I really miss Sammy. How’s he doing? Isn’t he nearly ten? Time really flies.”

Long pause.

“I wish you’d have told me you sold your place in Frisco. It kind of scared me to show up and...well, anyway. Next time I can get back to Earth, I’ll stop by the Riverside house.”

Short pause.

“Work’s been keeping me busy. I just finished a prototype of a device that can learn languages at least one hundred fifty times faster than humans can, so anywhere from two to five hours. I’m hoping it’ll make First Contact missions less dangerous for Starfleet.”

Long pause.

“...I really miss you. I wish you’d respond. I know it’s probably that you’re just busy - Sarek thinks I’m being illogical, missing you this much. Actually, you’d get a kick out of this - he said ‘You-’ Wait. I’m gonna do it in his voice.”

Cough.

“‘You have known Winona Kirk for twelve years, and claim her as family. She has never ignored you in the past that you recall. Therefore it is logical to suppose she wishes to speak with you, but currently has more pressing obligations’. 

Laugh.

“He’s so sweet, in his own way. That’s why I thought a video message might be better, you can respond whenever you want.”

Short pause.

“I guess that’s all I wanted to say. I hope to hear from you soon. I love you, Win.”

**YEAR: 2244**

**TRANSPORT FROM: San Francisco  
TRANSPORT TO: Terran Space Port**

The strange boy is asleep, so her gaze lingers in safety. 

He is in the aisle seat of the row across and behind her. He has a beaten leather travel case propped vertically in his lap and an arm around the cheap-looking guitar case in the seat next to him. 

His features are oddly familiar. 

The young man’s eyes drift open, and he catches Amanda staring. Amanda feels her face heat, but does not look away. He smiles easily. He opens his guitar case and pulls out his guitar. As he tunes it, the others in the transport turn in their seats to look at him.

He begins a very soft melody that leads to a deeper, more confident strum. Spock turns to listen, and the young man looks directly at him and smiles.

“Well I left my happy home/to see what I could find out...I left my folk and friends/with the aim to clear my mind out…”

Amanda listens, disturbed somewhat by the song choice. 

“Yes the answer lies within/so why not take a look now…” The song is ending. The guitarist improvises a plucky outro, met with scattered applause. Amanda joins briefly.

Spock whispers to her, “Is it Terran custom to sing unprompted to another in this way? Do I sing something back?”

Amanda laughs. “No, Spock. But if you want to show your appreciation, you can bring your hands together and apart. Like I did.” She demonstrates again.

Spock looks at her hands, raises an eyebrow, says, “I will not,” and unbuckles his seatbelt. Before Amanda can grab him back, he is walking towards the young man.

“I enjoyed your performance,” her son says in English.

The musician grins. “Thank you. Any requests?” His voice sounds even younger when he isn’t singing.

Spock thinks. “I do not know much Terran classical music.”

“I can play you a song I liked when I was your age.”

Spock is careful not to raise his voice, but the way he leans in betrays his excitement. “Yes.” He does not attempt to sit; he stands in the aisle and clasps his hands behind his back, like Sarek does. Amanda smiles so hard her eyes water. 

The young teen laughs, also charmed. Amanda’s smile drops a fraction. He sounds just like Winona.

He begins to pluck. The notes are mysterious, haunting, enticing. It’s the opening to “Pure Imagination” from Gene Wilder’s _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_.

“Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three,” he says, with Gene and George’s glimmer in his eye. “Come with me…”

It takes all the diplomacy Amanda has not to gasp. Her once-nephew is older now, but it is undeniably him. It was Sammy. 

He would be seventeen now. Amanda feels tears prick her eyes. He was such a large part of her life, once. The first child she ever helped raise. Win and George’s child. And now he is nearly a man, but surely not old enough to leave home.

What should she do? What can she do? It’s not like Win was taking her calls.

“If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it...Anything you want to, do it...wanna change the world?” Sammy winks at Spock. “There’s nothing...to it.”

Pluck, pluck, pluck. Pluck, pluck, pluck.

“There is no life I know/to compare with pure imagination...Living there you’ll be free/if you truly wish to be.” Sammy is met again with half-hearted applause, to which he grins and bows his neck. He laughs at something in Spock’s face. “What did you think of that one?”

Spock says, “Imagination is defined as the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses. However, the brain cannot form a perception of reality without first sensing reality, and therefore imagination is a reordering of reality without a clear and productive purpose. Therefore, that song is quite illogical.”

Amanda opens her mouth to chastise her son, but Sammy only laughs harder. “Well, Spock, have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘if you can dream it, you can do it?’”

“No,” says Spock imperiously. “Vulcans do not dream.”

Amanda speaks up, and Spock turns his gaze to her. “There’s another definition of dream - to aspire to something both greatly desired and difficult to achieve. The saying means that if you dare think your dreams are possible, you’re already well on your way to fulfilling them. The first step is to want something badly enough to fail, and to continue attempts despite that failure.”

Spock thinks about this. “Perhaps it is a logical tool to educate human children,” he says. “I have never met one, but perhaps they do not see the innate logic in failure.” He turns back to Sammy. “I look forward to testing this hypothesis.” He offers a ta’al. “I am Spock, son of Sarek. Who are you?”

Sammy attempts to offer a ta’al back and says, “Nice to meet you, Spock. You can call me Sam.”

“Hello, Sam,” Amanda says. “I’m Amanda Grayson. Do you remember me?”

**YEAR: 2247**

**ELECTRONIC LETTER FROM: George Samuel Kirk  
TO: Amanda Grayson**

Dear Aunt Amanda,

I kind of get why he did it, actually. If you let people get away with disrespecting you, they’ll only keep doing it. Something’s gotta give at some point.

But why do Vulcans even still have that? Aren’t rites of passage that put you in that much danger illogical? Couldn’t he just have a bar mitzvah in a few years and call it a day? 

I’m glad he’s okay now. I bet that really scared him, too.

Which brings me to something I’ve wanted to talk to you about - Jim. He’s at my place right now. I had to fight Mom tooth and nail for him to come here. She was gonna take a _whole year_ off and live with him in Riverside. How generous, right? I guess tragedy brings out the maternal instincts in her.

Anyway. I told her Jim needed more than a year, and he could come live with me. She wasn’t too pleased about that. She says he doesn’t need to be on another colony so soon, which I think is massively unfair - Deneva is much more established, there’s actual cities and comm towers everywhere. Anyway, she asked Jim and he said he wanted to come here.

I don’t know how to help him. We always had a pretty good relationship growing up but I messed that up when I left. He’s really angry. I think he only came because he hates Frank as much as I do.

Anyway, I was hoping you and Spock could come visit for the summer. I don’t have a ton of room, but I figured Jim and Spock could bunk together and you could take my room. I’ve been working on finishing out the attic to make it a guest loft, and I’m sure I can bunk up there with a fan or two. There’s a few motels too, if riding the metro over doesn’t bother you.

Anyway. Just think about it. I bet Spock and Jim would be good for each other.

Sam

**Author's Note:**

> FIC TIMELINE:
> 
> Sam Kirk is born in 2227 (instead of 2229). Winona is newly 19 (instead of 21), Amanda is 17. George Kirk is 21. Amanda marries Sarek four years later.
> 
> Jim Kirk is born, and George Kirk dies (at 27), in 2233. Winona is 25, Amanda is 23, Sam Kirk is 6. Winona marries Frank three years later in a small ceremony.
> 
> Spock is born in 2237 (instead of 2230). Winona is 29, Amanda is 27, Sam Kirk is 10, Jim Kirk is 4.
> 
> Sam leaves home in 2244 (instead of 2245). He is 17. Winona is 36 (on an 8-month mission), Amanda is 33, Jim is 11. Spock is 7.
> 
> Jim is sent to Tarsus VI in 2246. He is 13. Sam is 19.


End file.
